I will never abandon taking care of him-as I've told him. However, after 5 years I can't suppress my physical and emotional needs anymore. Remember: You can't do this alone. Maybe that and the hustle and bustle of Back to School and the constant talk of “13 more days!” has them more excited and less willing to settle down. professionals during a calm time about any other steps you can take to keep. I have to dig in my heels, stay away from the corner and swing with determination. So her lack of exceptionalism is unnerving! No judgment fro me either. If she is a low income person there should be child care assistance in your state to help her pay for day care and/or after school care. My parents never had to help me with my homework, but my son needs a lot of help. This is kind of a bullshit article. Im sure its all my fault and blah blah but I try SO hard to be nice and fun. (((HUGS))). Parenting is H A R D! But he can’t. There are going to continue to be days when you struggle to rise from bed. Crap Living In This World School Friends Time School. Sometimes I am afraid it may feel empty at some point, but on the other hand: being miserable half the time is not the recipe for a happy life either. :'( plus I’m pretty sure hes just pood! But now, I can't take care of him. But there is. we will not put up with this anymore, yjis is or was a christian household, and your unchristian ways are making our lives hell. You are NOT alone, ever, as most moms are at their wits end! Hi friends! My advice is to take 10 minutes to yourself, read a book, play a game on your phone, hide in the closet and then come out and give them 20 minutes of undivided attention. At least, I admit with my hand held high, I can’t! I take care of my mother mostly by myself, she's reached a later stage of dementia and I no longer can safely care for her. My husband and child both have OCD and anxiety, and he’s paranoid as well. Write a real article for people who are TIRED of being a mom- whose nipples are sore and burning, who haven’t slept in 7 weeks, whose toddlers won’t stop yelling, who can’t even get a nap in because the baby always wants to be held, who has no family around that will actually help. I can relate to you. For parents, letting go of care taking duties may be difficult. I didn’t sign up for this. Being Christian does not make you a better person. Now, right now in Texas, it is about 105° every day. His father can’t stand stress and gives in to almost all the demands. She thinks I just don't WANT to take care of mom, it's taken me three years to realize I'm not the best one to look out after my mother. 515 515. !….but reading this made me not feel crazy. Run to neverland , where all dreams come... 4/10/2020. I am quite isolated as well but have some great people I have never met online that help me when things are the darkest. I know so many of you feel me on this.. and it is so refreshing to know that I’m honestly not the only one… Otherwise, they will take over! I had to drop out of college at the time, but was happy to do so to take care of my … Leave the door cracked so you can see your child making the mess, but talk away like nothing is happening. thanks . I feel better knowing I’m not alone and that it will get better. Oh we have been there and it SUCKS!!! So, I have devised 5 things that I can do to help remove the wall from my lap so that I can be the stand up mom I aim to be 76.465% of the time. There I'm in a similar position, but that's because I can't both work and look after my mother, and I've chosen to do the latter: I don't have additional family responsibilities, and I don't have a mother who expects me to wait on her hand and foot and take no time for myself. 5. You are stuck in a vicious cycle that is exhausting you. All the stress of work, then add the stress of all the petty bs and I literally can't take it anymore. I had to drop out of college at the time, but was happy to do so to take care of my mom. They’re so unappreciative and so spoiled, they’re so messy and lazy and they don’t listen until I yell, they constantly fight with each other and they constantly yell and cry and yell and fight and cry …over and over and over again. We have hit the wall. You don’t take any responsibility and you’re quick to shun others including your own son. No mother gets the same out of motherhood that others do. I am so so glad that you found it! I’m just done. Just that pressure alone can be overwhelming! Can’t afford to take care of my child anymore, Re:Can’t afford to take care of my child anymore. There is something refreshing and uplifting about getting outside. Thanks ladies. I wish I was stronger. If you are unable to remember to take care of your pet's basic healthcare needs, then seeking help is important. 4. Single motherhood is tough, I know… but it does get easier as they age! And my husband because he has testicles expects to be the provider, even though my starting pay is 3-4 dollars higher than his maxed out pay at his entry level job. And things are going to continue to suck for a little while. Kids are tough. So even though you just vacuumed the living room for the 3rd time that morning and you see your 3 year old heading to the table with the Rice Krispies and you know with all of your heart that even if you give her a bowl, she will dump that box on your carpet, but you just don’t have the gumption to stop the new mess, then take your phone, walk outside and hit speed dial 5. If nothing else, you can take medications. I just realized my daughter would be better off at daycare than home with me. I try and hold the line and get shat on. If I am going to work and sacrifice time with my child, its not going to be for that place. of yourself too. I never thought I could get this low but I was wrong. The reality is that it really is possible to get relief from anxiety. Commit to change and start on your way to recovery. Self-care is a crucial, yet often overlooked, component. Support Forums > ... with the little one whom you care for and the child within yourself who would enjoy some creative time. My daughter is pregnant, and getting married at the end of sept. Please keep in touch and come join me on my FB page. I worked my ass off at 2 jobs and put myself through college with absolutely no outside help. Remember that a dog is a commitment for 15 or more years. If you are unable to remember to take care of your pet's basic healthcare needs, then seeking help is important. There’s so much opportunity here for work its hard to believe they couldn’t take care of their own kids. I believe that it is not fair to have children when you can not support them. i can't take care of my mom anymore. May we all somehow stay in the game…. I’m going crazy, I cry out of frustration, I cry and I think about running away I think about just leaving and not ever coming back….but I knowwwww I can’t do that, their my babies. She wants to connect with her readers through honest and engaging posts! I look at my child and think about how I longed for my parents to love me for who I am. I can’t take it anymore quarentine SUCKS. Help! Even though I’m educated and have a degree. I feel like my life is just wasting away I'm not doing anything with my life. I’m an Atheist and I took care of my parents since I was in 6th grade. Don’t assume your child always wants to chat or text. i dont have the heart to ask him to leave but if he doesnt then he is going to destroy whats ledft of the once happy family we used to be. However, if you are really, really struggling, there is no harm in hiring a mommy’s helper or asking friends for help. But once I get out and I walk and they ride bikes or we all walk or one walks and the other three complain, it’s OK! I can't do it anymore I have an 8 year old and a 3 year old, I am 24 years old and I just can't cope anymore. Not even if we did get a lifetime supply of Aqua Net with coupons. We escaped the routine of the daily schedule, found something new to see, spent some time alone together without phones and toys strewn about. I even prayed..I’m just counting the days til there older, until there 18, people say time flies but my time is not flying!!!!! But if you can do it, head outside, if only for a minute! SunCloudJD 08/02/2019. I feel empty. When the patience is gone and there is no end in sight to that frustrating phase? The Salvation Army provides emergency assistance and support to families. If I had the day off and the child was sick I would help out. My kids, at around 3, also made huge messes and I never thought it would end. Ladies… ugh!! Plus, by turning it off, we are all forced to use our imaginations. I raised my kids and took care of my mom on hospice until she passed. How do you do it? But, your care and support will keep your child safe or at least will let them know that you are a safe haven as well. The Court will probably hold a hearing and discharge you and if the mother or father doesn't step up to the plate, the child may end up in foster care. You sound just like me! OP, where approximately do you live and what do you need? And if we say we have not ever hit it then we lie. If so, does it offer marriage counseling or daycare? I hate being a mother but I love my kids but don’t like them but I couldn’t imagine anything happening to them…like I wish I would wake up and it was all a dream ,that would be lovely, the first thing I’d do is tie my tubes. 0. But you have to stick with it! OP, truly sorry if this is not the case, but there was a poster very similar to this a couple of years ago. I hatE everything else, but what do you do when you have already committed by literally having them? 5. I don’t want to play with them, I did not think that I had to, my mom never did, I played with my sisters. But when the time comes that I can no longer help her I know a nursing home will be the best place for her to be. It is just so hard sometimes. This means I’m not a horrible person. Subject: Can’t afford to take care of my child anymore Anonymous I know people who can't afford their kids due to no fault of their own AND have maxed on credit cards. Your incapacity will be total if you are no longer able to take care of yourself and your property. This is a great post, and something I really needed! It’s been a long week with the husband working late nights and missing baths and bed all week. i've grown to hate her. -Empowering Parents Editor It is important to get the help that you need. If you can’t afford it, call your local church or google free/low-cost therapy options in your area. My dad got a heart attack about 1 year after my mom passed away and was just doing awful at the time. I know people who can't afford their kids due to no fault of their own AND have maxed on credit cards. I understand taking care of a parent that does his/her share (even if that share is very, very small), but to care for someone that truly doesn't care anymore is exhausting. This is interspersed with patches of time when he is loving, creative, funny and smart. Veteran Member. It got to me and I felt bad for being short with my oldest, but I have to give myself a break and start again fresh tomorrow. So at 3 in the afternoon we have to walk to the length of the house. If the care and worry of your parent has started to take its toll on your and your family's life, it's okay to seek help. she's going to commit suicide if i make her leave. But as they age, they can make the mess AND pick it up! i know i am going to be judged, but i cant function anymore. We are all here for you too! If you can’t take much more of your child with special needs … If you googled “I can’t take much more of my child with special needs,” I’m giving you an internet hug. Whomever answers is who you talk to for 5 full minutes. I imagine I am a boxer about to enter the ring. None of my friends are willing to take it. And we all can’t be June Cleaver all the time. They are just different, we’ll say. Parenting a defiant child is hard. Yet of the over 400,000 children in the care of the child welfare system nationally, one out of seven (nearly 57,000) has been placed in a group home or institution. im sorry sheldon, but you vcannot change the person i have become since you were away, as much as youd like to turn back time, it just cant be that way any longer. For example, a 52-year-old man suffers a brain injury in a serious car accident. I’m not some one who can, or wished to engage with a child all day or hover over them 24/7 to make sure they aren’t accidentally watching something too violent or pornographic. It’s a critical moment here and I really don’t know how many more steps I can take. He is the biggest nuisance EVER. I believe that it is not fair to have children when you can not support them. Needed this bad! Sometimes, even though you are DONE, you just have to pull up your big girl pants and do it anyway. If an emergency happened and I could help I would. My four year old is completely insane and very mean. (((hugs)) We can do it! My mom got diagnosed with brain cancer when I was 19 and I was her caregiver for a year up until she passed away. After work you’re supposed to look forward to relaxing, not when ur a mom. Its kind of scary for me to think of quitting (as much as I desperately want to). ((((hugs))))). I don’t even know how to begin to make a change. We get to that point and we just want to sit down, bury our heads in our arms, curse the mother’s who never told us how frustrating it could be, and cry. What about the mom who really seriously feels like she can’t do it anymore? I know there are no perfect mothers – if you are one, I’d like to bronze you and put you in a museum please – but there are a lot of mothers striving to be perfect. And he won’t go for a nap even though hes shattered and he peed himself and he doesn’t want clean pants on and he wants the blanket but he doesn’t want it and he doesn’t want the TV on so turns it off but wants to watch Mulan and hes screaming crying because the DAY ENDS IN A Y! This sounds horrible but can I return him to the pound? Single mom. I really want to throw my entire life in the trash can. In some states, up to 35 percent of children cared for by the system are in group placements. Some days it may feel like he can. I thought I wanted kids, I did want kids, I had absolutely no idea what it would be like and that I would hate parenting. Everything is shattered. Lost a lot of sympathy for OP when it came out she doesn't have/want credit cards. I finished primary school a few says ago (P7) and am moving to big school soon. I asked around, posted pictures on FB, and had several family members ask friends but in this economy no one wants to add a new pet to their situation. Including me!! Anna1212 08/01/2019. For sure!! I accidentally had a kid for someone who I thought wanted it because they said they wanted it then as soon as it was born they changed and acted like I wanted it. It would be nice if your son would grow up and take the responsibility of raising his own children. I am actually happy with my life now, I have my hands full with just me. I volunteer and give to the needy all the time. More defiant, more bold, more in tune to the empty threats and false promises of ‘red hineys’ and ‘hanging up by your toes’. Daycare? Like I’m just stuck as this house slave. i don't know what to do. I’ve been a single mom, working outside the home and raising my children for 25 years. I Think I Need to Quit. I can't take care of my fish anymore. Funny how family gatherings can sometimes make us feel even worse about our ability! OK. 1st off, no kid is ‘better off’ because they don’t have a mother. We have a 5 month old puppy who is the size of a small lab dog. Related posts . If they can't place the child with one of these people, the local authority will then look at the following options: a placement with a local authority foster parent who is not a relative, friend or other person who the child knows, or ; a placement in a children's home, or; another suitable arrangement for the child's care. Nearly 11,000 of those children are younger than 13. I hate my life. After years of therapists, and hard work, Evan had limited, basic speech, could dress and take care of his toileting needs. . I'm a single parent and my children still see their father who I split up with about 1 year ago. I only mention daycare because it sounds like you could use a few hrs for yourself (a few hrs a week maybe?). And since eliminating those distractions – the voices are my friends, don’t make fun – is virtually impossible, I’ll eliminate what I can. The reason that you ate the food in front of you is because at some point, your mom taught you that if you did not, you would go hungry. The wall is hard and the bricks can really pile up. Usually both parents are their children's guardians, even if they've separated or they're divorced. I can't handle it anymore!! There are many people who do have kids and then don’t like it once it happens. I want to lay in my own funk and NOT feel guilty about it. A few days without TV, phone or tablet might curb it. It can also be useful to focus on how you can take care. I thought I would love parenting and be a good parent. ... Not my child! I have 4 kids, 3 girls and 1 boy, girls are 9,7,5 and the boy is 8…today I just couldn’t, it’s 10:00pm and I googled ‘what do I do if I don’t want to parent anymore’ … These past few months have just been so overwhelming and hard!!!! But we end up in power struggles all the time. So basically, nothing will change. The energy is transformed and all is well… until the next fight. However, the process of placing a child within state custody is a bit more complicated than simply dropping your child off with a social worker. The oldest has his own family now and is doing well but they are both strong willed so I’ve been dealing with those wills for 25 years. I can’t afford summer camp and my husband doesn’t trust babysitters. Many people struggle, especially with an unpredictable child. Did i mention i have my ever optomistic mother here telling me i should do this and shouldn’t do that… & here i sit just wishing everyone had an off switch so i can have some peace and quiet & no more mess.. i swear I’d only turn them off for like 5 mins… or years… who knows… Others can help with that and I hope you do reach out! Asjkk jodie, papa or sherree to help you, we are tired and done witnh is kind of life now. I’m moving and I can’t take my cat with me. I am in the same boat. People who can’t take care of a child shouldn’t have them. 1. I was a much happier person when they were gone. Perhaps you're no longer able to care for him due to circumstances out of your control. I was hoping to be able to throw her a baby shower and at least buy her something for the wedding. it sucks. I don’t know. I appreciate the advice. Not because the kids have really changed. My husband put our daughter’s happiness over mine and well doesn’t agree with spanking, which sometimes is the only way to make my point. I’m sorry you are struggling. But anxiety isn't the type of issue that can be cured overnight. If your parent is not safe at home, and you can't arrange for 24 hour care, then it may be time for assisted living. We plan on changing the lives of a few of them through adoption. Four kids….10,5,3 and 4 months. You are soooo under estimating your value!!! Good tips, but I’m beyond some of them. There’s nothing left for me. You are important! I just can’t say how much I needed to read this. It definitely is a way almost every mom feels at least a few times a week. shelter? We are so isolated and I just feel trapped sometimes. I wish I could work 12 hours/day, 7 days a week and come home and snuggle them for 15 minutes at bedtime. Pet insurance can help to cover certain medical expenses. Any chance you can hire a local teenager to help her with her homework or check with her school to see if there is some after school program that can help her? James Lehman explains how dealing with a difficult child can take its toll on the parent-child relationship, and he gives you some practical advice on how to handle it. I did exceptional in school. So please PLEASE get that out of your head. But I have been there so long (10 years) I can't imagine working anywhere else. What will happen if you die or can't take care of your child? Its sad how many kids are orphans in this world! Response time almost always gets longer as kids get older, experts agree. Thanks! And the comments range from the moderate to extreme, but I don’t judge a single one! Much love and HUGS!!! Days when you scream until your voice cracks. I thought this article was about not wanting to be a parent? I’m expected to be motherly because I have ovaries, and stay home. Smothered in bills no child support. I just can’t take living in this world anymore. Other parents may worry that they’ll be less able to provide adequate care as they age and develop disabilities of their own. Can Afford My Dog’s Veterinary Care Anymore. So she waits until I get home from work to do all the reading! Food? Lori is a single work from home mom of three daughters, ages 11, 10 and 8. It didnt end the way i wanted it to or expected it to. So please proceed with caution. This really did a number on me mentally since I had to watch my mom deteriorate each day until she passed away. I know all of my friends have. If your children are over 16, you should try and work out arrangements yourselves. And for me, it gives me time to do something in motherhood that gets lost in the work, the chores, the bills and life… I get to look at my beautiful angels loving time with me. It is all the attention all the time. your child safe. This really did a number on me mentally since I had to watch my mom deteriorate each day until she passed away. Had you actually been there for him after age 7 maybe he would have more respect. already on anti depressant…so can’t drink. I have a 3 year old red eared slider. The marriage was a massive disappointment but the children have been my life’s most valuable treasures. A sleepless parent loses the ability to be creative. By Briana, 4 years ago on Tropical Fish. I know how you feel! Email. Let's not posit this argument about the future's child well-being whether he'll be in a good school, receiving a good education and being well fed. But I do know that I am reaching my breaking point faster these days and I don’t like it. Either way, it's important to evaluate the situation. Good tips, but I’m beyond some of them. Kids or no kids, it is exactly the way it is supposed to be :). Today I have turned my back on my mum because I can't cope anymore. Search However, if you really feel you can't look after them properly anymore, then you should ask around in your friends or family if anyone would be capable of taking them off your hands, preferabbly someone who has experience of having cats. Lori is correct, there are online groups for all needs, just google to find one. I really don’t see why people voluntarily chose this path of life. By now, she is far too big for it. I’m new to mumsnet and this is my first thread. What is it that you can't afford for you child? I do everything u mentioned except the story circle, my children will not be content lol…. Lol… I love the simplicity of your suggestions….though chocolate is right up there with reading to me ;), Thanks for this. So make sure to check your policy if you are struggling to pay for your dog’s care. Hard as heck!!! You can't just give her up. Financial Samurai says. The truth is, sometimes you don’t like your child very much. I can never tell what will trigger him. If you can’t take much more of your child with special needs … If you googled “I can’t take much more of my child with special needs,” I’m giving you an internet hug. Reply. All I want is to make my kids happy and help them grow up to be strong minded adults who aren’t weak like me…i just hope I can. Death is the only way out at this point. If you want them to love quiet time, teach them to do that. Take care of you first now so that you may take care of the little child close to you. I’m just tired. The calls are endless: I can’t keep my cat because my husband is allergic. Learn how your comment data is processed. Your world won’t change overnight. Because I can get into it – just as anyone can – and things can and will happen during that moment when I am engrossed. Favorite Answer. Please, find some help. Exhausted people can find it hard to see a change or way out. no matter what the punishment…she repeats the behavior. I really wish I didn’t exist, I’m buried and tired, Oh man girls..so glad I found this I’m so isolated and I’m desperate to have some sort of forum to vent to. I feel so alone and isolated. September 12, 2011 at 9:04 pm. You are NOT ALONE!! It’s like they just want attention…, Keep us updated! I Can't Take My High Stress Job Anymore! I hate my life I hate everything about it. Can Afford My Dog’s Veterinary Care Anymore. I did not want kids or marriage until I hit 33. But we have ALL been there!!! This was not what I thought it would be. I ate the food in front of me, I was over-joyed to have new shoes. Especially with my kids. The reason you got excited about new shoes – my kids do too, by the way – is because you read your moms cues and learned that it IS an exciting thing. Yes, it is a L O T of work to get three kids ready to go on a 5 minutes walk up the street. LockHorns Mon 04-Mar-19 19:07:07. Until I read it all. I have a lot of projects I work on outside, and come in to find her watching some one on YouTube she’s not allowed to watch. Your self-care plan can be anything you Not the least bit helpful. A Day in Motherhood - Copyright: 2010-Current |, 3 Reasons Your Christmas Wish List Might Be Useless, My Brother is One of the Many Heroes at Home & My Personal Hero. Better yet, pour the rich Merlot over the chocolate and enjoy. I can’t take it anymore . This article helped definitely but my problem is having all these feelings ON TOP OF DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY! He has trouble organizing his thoughts, communicating with others, and knowing where he is or what time it is. I've said a good bit and perhaps too much, but I do know that you need to take care of yourself now and find your own happiness in the little one who has Down's Syndrome. I have a nine yr old and I love her and being a mother, but I hate being a mom when it’s not going well I’ve learned. But where did I go wrong! I’m crying that I feel like a terrible mum coz I don’t want to put up with my 2 year old screaming crying anymore because he wants a biscuit (hes already had one!) Thus, no research was put into her species. Its your child; you can't do anything. Got in fight with a another student ( he is not physical and never before got in trouble for that) , was called in the office several times ! Are you a contractor? I think I’d rather die than live to see how fucked up my kids going to be from having me for a mother. If your dog has an ongoing health problem, or has suddenly developed a medical issue, you’ll know how expensive vet bills can be. Everything is guilt. 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